How to Help Hurting Christians
Tips for Ministering to Brokenhearted Church Members
Just because you see smiling faces on your fellow church members doesn't mean that "all is well." Many Christians suffer alone, afraid to to let you see their pain.
You hear a lot about brokenhearted people outside the church. But tragically, there are many Christians who sit next to you in church each week whose hearts are breaking, although they may paste smiles on their faces.
Ruth Graham, daughter of the world's greatest evangelist, Billy Graham was one of those hurting church members who knows how it feels to have a broken heart. She writes in her book, "In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart," how she was at first fearful of sharing her heartaches, which were many. She’d endured two divorces, as well as raised rebellious teenagers who'd struggled with everything from drugs to teen pregnancy. She herself battled depression, with even thoughts of taking her life. But thanks to God's grace, she was able to rise above her problems and feel whole again.
How to Find the Brokenhearted
Be sensitive to God's spirit. Ask God to lead you to people who are hurting, even though they try to appear as if they're fine. Not only will you be helping someone else, but you can grow spiritually by becoming more fine-tuned, as noted in “How to Hear God's Voice".
How to Help Hurting Christians
Participate in small groups. Because you can become lost in a crowd, sometimes even in a small church, it's vital that your church has some small groups that meet regularly, sharing their highs and lows in daily life. Here church members can become transparent, not trying to fake happiness when they're actually troubled. If your church doesn't have a small group program, then start one.
If you suspect someone is going through a hard time, get to know him (or her) better. Suggest going to lunch after church, or invite him over to your house. It doesn't have to be an elaborate meal. Sharing your lives over coffee is just as powerful as having a dinner party. Or, just single someone out whom you think is hurting and sit down with that person after church or between services.
Make telephone calls and visits. Have deacons call people regularly to see if all is well. Or you don't have to wait for deacons to check up on church members. Consider yourself a deacon and make the first move to call someone. For example, you can say..."Hi Jane, this is Tanya. I sat behind you in church. I thought I saw you choke back a tear. Is everything okay? I'd love to get together with you and talk."
Get Involved with the Stephens Ministry
If your congregation doesn't have a Stephens Ministry, convince the church leaders to start one. The Stephens Ministry began in 1975 when a St. Louis pastor, Rev. Kenneth C. Haugh, equipped nine parishioners to help minister to church members going through life crises. Since then the Stephen Ministries has spread to more than 10,000 congregations, representing more than 15 Christian denominations with more than 450,000 laypeople who've undergone extensive training as lay ministers.
These are only a few ways you can reach out and help brokenhearted people who sit in pews next to us each week. The command to mend the broken hearted in Isaiah 61 isn't just for nonbelievers, but everyone whose heart is breaking. If you ignore the hurting inside our church doors, how can you effectively reach out to a hurting world? To be a healthy church you need to help our brothers and sisters-in Christ heal before you can help heal the wounds of those outside the body of Christ.
